July 16, 2013
Thoughts, Feelings, Emotions
I know I've been doing the weekly updates on my pregnancy, but I feel like just answering those questions leaves out a lot. So here are some other things that have been going on or are important to me:
I really want to have a natural birth. Just yesterday my book on The Bradley Method came in and I can't wait to devour it so I can be best prepared. Right now my mindset is that I will accept medication only if it is legitimately medically necessary for the my health or the health of my baby. Please understand that by no means whatsoever am I condemning those who were induced or got an epidural or had a c-section! I have just heard a lot of great things about natural childbirth and am excited to try it. Right now I just really want to see the midwife that everyone I know recommends, because I hear she is absolutely amazing and very supportive of mamas who want to give birth naturally. I scheduled my appointment for tomorrow with her, but just found out yesterday that she is on vacation. Boo. I am bound and determined to see her at my 28 week appointment though! I really hope it's not too late to form a good relationship with her so that she'll be the one who delivers my baby. My fingers and toes are crossed!
I am not a fan of my body changing. You know the old saying that you don't know what you've got til it's gone? That is exactly how I feel.
I wanted to only gain the minimum of what the doctor said was the healthy range (25-35 pounds) but I am well on my way to reaching the top. Ugh. I'm scared to death that I will find out tomorrow that I have gestational diabetes, since tomorrow is my glucola test. I had a breakdown the other night because I was convinced that he would end up being 17 pounds and I wouldn't get to have the natural birth I want because I'm a bad mom who only feeds her unborn child carbs and sugar. If being pregnant doesn't inspire me to eat the healthy all the time and exercise like crazy, then I must be the most selfish, lazy slob in the world! That's how I was feeling the other day anyway. It doesn't help either when your husband has ultra-fast metabolism and hasn't got an ounce of fat on his body. Being married to a fine human specimen is fabulous until you start to wonder if you're the couple that people look at and think, "how did that girl get that guy?!"
As you can see, I'm not doing well with the body changes. I hesitated at first to even share all of this, but I think it's important to be real and not pretend that pregnancy is all roses and butterflies. When I read other pregnant lady blogs the ones who act like everything is perfect just make me feel worse. So, I'll be honest and say it's hard watching my body change! Thankfully when I feel him moving I know it's all more than worth it. I just hope I can get back to my old self (and into my old jeans) as soon as possible!
On a happier note, we are almost finished with the nursery! It is coming together perfectly and I am beyond thankful for all of Jason's hard work. We are alike in that once we start something we want to finish it as fast as we can. So, he's been working incredibly hard to finish up project after project so that the room will be done in plenty of time. The main colors are white, navy, red and baby blue. I'm trying to achieve a preppy, New England kind of feel without the room becoming "theme-y." Once we are all done I'll post plenty of pictures :)
That's all for now! Everyone say a little prayer that I pass the glucola test tomorrow and don't have gestational diabetes! (And maybe say an extra prayer that if I do, I won't crash onto the jagged rocks of despair!)