October 29, 2013

39 Weeks

How Far Along: 39 weeks
Total Weight Gain: Let's just say I weigh more than I did last week. I didn't look at the scale, but my midwife announced it as soon as she came in the room, which was completely humiliating, especially since Jason was there.
Maternity Clothes: I recently bought a large men's sweatshirt from Wal-Mart for six whole dollars, which is currently my favorite thing to wear. Unlike the rest of my shirts, it actually covers the bottom of my belly.
Sleep: I'm not tired at night and when I do manage to fall asleep, I wake about every 2-3 hours out of discomfort. Then to top it all off, I am usually wide awake at 5am. Needless to say, sleep is not going well.
Stretch Marks: Thankfully, still nothing.
Highlight of the Week: On Saturday night, Jason and I went to the Thriller Parade in downtown Lexington. It was a nice distraction and I had a good time getting into the Halloween spirit!
Missing: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the end of the second trimester. I looked pregnant, but I wasn't miserable like I am now, physically or emotionally.
Movement: He's moved back UP out of my pelvis, so there's that. He's also moved over to my left side, rather than my right, which is where he has hung out for the past 9 months. Getting adventurous I suppose...
Cravings: The only thing I crave is to not be pregnant anymore! 
Food Aversions: None
Symptoms: Hip pain, finger joint pain, back pain, boredom, anxiety, impatience, etc. And to top it all off, I puked twice this week while brushing my teeth. Honestly, I am 25 weeks too pregnant for that!
Showing: Yep
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Not a single flutter. Literally nothing. I have serious doubts that I will ever go into labor at this point. I am trying to prepare myself emotionally for a possible induction, but it is not going well. I cried all the way home from my appointment today since he's moved away from where he's supposed to be and since my cervix is still not in the mood to birth this baby. My midwife isn't even sure if she will be able to strip my membranes if need be, because they are too high for her to reach! I'm trying really hard not to feel defective, but I'm starting to wonder if I would be one of those women that died in childbirth back in the olden days simply because my body seems to have no clue what it's supposed to be doing!
Belly Button In or Out: Out
Wedding Rings On or Off: Off
Most looking forward to: I am looking forward to hopefully going into labor on my own sometime soon. I really want to experience natural childbirth, and every day that passes that nothing happens I get more and more afraid of having to be induced. I''m trying to keep in mind that the end goal is a healthy baby, regardless of how he gets here, which is true I guess, but the fact of the matter is that it does matter to me how he gets here. My main priority is his health and safety of course, but secondarily, I would like to have a good birth experience. I really hope those two things don't become mutually exclusive, because obviously I will throw myself in front of a speeding train if that's what it takes to get him out safely, but I'd prefer not to have to resort to that. (Perhaps I am being a bit dramatic, but you get my point.) Also, obviously I am really, really, really looking forward to seeing my son for the first time!
Milestones: Well, based on the new and improved labor charts or whatever they are, I am finally "full term. " Apparently 37 weeks is "early term" now. 

*I realize this week I seem a little grouchy. Please don't think for a moment that I’m not incredibly thankful to be pregnant, because I am. I'm more than happy to go through whatever it takes (both during the rest of my pregnancy and during his birth, however that ends up happening) to have a healthy baby at the end of the day. However, that doesn't change the fact that today has been a tough day, and I think it's important to be honest and share that.

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